Saturday, April 23, 2011

ok now

While sewing the nightgowns I actually asked the Lord to take Mom home so I would not have to deal with all this anymore. That made me feel guilty beyond belief.
I brought my friend Sami with me to the nursing home.Her mother passed away last year. By time she died her Mother had no clue who Sami was if anyone understands the hurt, the pain the sadness it is Sami.
We arrived to a packed parking lot; lots of grandkids going to see the grandparents. I quietly walked in and gave the goodies to her social worker, walked out crying. I was pretty much a mess emotionally on Friday.
Our Pastor was raised in the Jewish faith, he converted to Christianity when he was 18. Every Good Friday he does a Passover dinner for our congregation and many Churches connecting the traditions of the Jewish faith with the New Testament.
I really did NOT want to attend I just wanted to stay home and cry. I went and I am so glad that I did.
I don't know about the rest of you who read this for me, as rough as this gets which is pretty bad sometimes my faith in God, the support from family and friends are the only thing that gets me through day after day.
I am okay now, for the moment. I remind myself Mom is still in the nursing home, she still has Alzheimer's she still doesn't want to see me. But with that in mind today as I write I am at peace.
I promised Daddy I would take care of her and I am. Beverly is in a Christian nursing home with a qualified staff that take excellent care of her. I pay her bills and supply all her extras and pray for her every day. She is safe.
I know in my heart when I see God and my Daddy they will be happy at the way I have handled this nasty situation.
I am not great at where different Scriptures are by any means but it occurred to me when the Apostles asked Christ, "When did we feed you, When did we clothe you etc. His response was, "When you do this to the least of my Brethren you do this to Me." That is how it is with my mother, when I remind myself that God loves her too I can do this for Him by taking care of her.

No comments:

Post a Comment