aawwww

It's been 2 weeks and the Lord let me know it was a time to go visit Beverly. I DO NOT go alone , I picked up yellow roses (Mom's flower of choice) then Sami and off she and I went. When we arrived the sitting area was empty off we trotted to Mom's room. The nurse was giving her some meds.Each time I visit I swear she has aged 10 years. The first 20 minutes wee okay other than the loop...Mom must have asked Sami to sit down 15 times. Then she started in.....I held my tongue, prayed then looked at Sami, kissed Mom good bye and left.
Something about visiting her while in her very small room makes for bad visits. The suites are lovely however the resident must be able to do private pay 50% of the bill. The monthly cost for Baptist is $13,789.22. Had my parents made better choices she could have one of those rooms. There was no savings, no insurance and my mother was/is a chronic gamble and went through about $500,000 in 20 years. Anyway from her perspective her bedroom is a prison then gain on days like yesterday her anger over being there is pretty intense. Of course no matter what I know to be true I feel QUILTY!
That's why this blog is call Alzheimer's is horrid!

no money

You would think after 14 months and sending out countless numbers of your POA that the bill collectors would get the message, "THERE IS NO MONEY TO GIVE THEM!" I do my best to be pleasant but who in their right mind gives a couple of 80 plus year old people an unsecured credit line of $10,000. The balance at time of Daddy passing last July was over $6000 . HSBC has said they would be glad to accept a mere $2000. Guess what there is not any money...sigh!

communication with you all

Hi there fellow bloggers,
Perhaps it is because I have a Mac or who knows. i have read all of your blogs and have written comments to most then the weird box shows up with odd letters I fill it in then hit the key then I get an Error message...
So for those who wonder if I read what you all share I do and believe me there are moments when what you say is exactly what I need to hear. I hope my words help each of you, time to do some laundry. God Bless, jewels

Wow what happened to...

The thing about life is this,"sometime life gets in the way of living."I can not take credit for that sentence but when I realized I have not blogged in over a month I was shocked. Believe me there has been plenty to say.
The week before the wedding was crazy busy. The big event was Rachel,
bride to be, Krissy, my life long friend and myself picked up Mother. Then we took her out for manicure; not cheap when you add 2 pedicures (Grandma and the bride) tips for me and a french manicure for Krissy.
Then while I attempted to cash a check to help cover the expenses. If this was a blog about how I hate B of A I would say more. Anyway, Kris and Rachel delt with finding an outfit at Peter Harris. By time that was accomplished Mom was pretty tired. Off we went to the lovely diner across the parking lot. We all had a drink to toast Rachel then had a hardy lunch. We kept Mom out for about 4 hours. I am not sure who was more exhausted her or me. All in all her behavior was that of someone suffering with Alzheimer's...oh yes, that would be her. We took her back to her Prison as she calls it and we headed home.
I choose not to have my mother at Rachel's bridal shower and felt a little guilty.
The day of the wedding arrived and Stewart, the middle son, and his wife Carolyn picked up Mother. Stewart and Joe took charge of Grandma while I enjoyed my daughter's big day. (pictures will follow). It was odd my x-husband and his family was there and so my mother thought it was my wedding to him. At one point she asked Krissy why I was a holding another man's hand ( that would be Brad my present husband). Mom and I spoke a few times but Praise God the kids and even my x husband kept her busy.
Before the wedding I saw her 6 weeks in a row. Each time she would tell me that she hadn't seen me in months. After the wedding Brad, Heather and I took off for a much deserved 2 week vacation. Joe became the contact for the nursing home while I was away. Thank heaven there was no emergency. It was nice not thinking about Beverly for those 2 weeks.
But immediately upon my return there were letters about her finances and some small problems at the nursing home.
When Heather and I saw her after we got back from vacation the first thing out her mouth was, "housekeeping stole my panties and now I am wearing paper diapers! you need to fix this right now! Yep, it was great being back. Do you know that medicaid does not pay for clothe incontinent panties? Do you know that 6 cost $68.50? Not a big deal IF there was money in her account BUT the nursing home takes every penny and the additional VA stipend of $96.25 will take another 6-9 months. If my husband had not hand a major 45% paycut 18 months ago I would have no problem with the extra things Mom needs once in awhile. Right now there is no extra money in my budget. Another reason to save and plan for our old age!!!!
When I left her last week I spoke to her doctor for the first time since admission in January. It took me a few minutes to get around to what I needed to know but her figured it out I just had to make sure this is where she belongs. Because as much as I hate to admit it I still feel guilty as sin. After a few minutes of basic Alzheimer's talk her doctor told me. 'Jewels, your mother has only part of her mind working only part of the time. This is where she needs to be so she can be safe." Then he added, " and it is okay if she hates you and feels this place is a prison because for her it is." WOW!
The newlyweds are on their way here now for dinner, Joe and I will take Mom out this coming week for dinner, heather is back in school a big 4th grader. And Brad and I are holding our own with the Lord right there with us.
I still hate this disease but thanks to all of you in blogland I know I am not alone!!!!

a little better

This was just posted an article, “Top 50 Online Resources for Families Coping With Alzheimer’s” ( http://radiologydegree.com/top-50-online-resources-for-families-coping-with-alzheimer%E2%80%99s/ ).

As for my Mom I have seen her 3 weeks in a row briefly and never alone but the visits are okay. All most sweet sometimes. There are moments when I feel clam and can deal with the endless amount of paperwork I get regarding her care and insurance and the pensions that still have not been transfered.

My oldest daughter will be married 2 weeks from tomorrow. We are going to bring my mother ,Rachel wants her there. Please everyone prayer that she stays in a "good place." We have a back up plan IF Mom starts to get vulgar. And why is that? She never ever said a profanity in her life and now when she is wherever her brain takes her what comes out of her mouth would make a sailor blush! She also never ate sweets or used salt now those are her favorites! The goal is to take her shopping and get her nails, toes and hair done the Thursday before the wedding. She had to redo the health care proxy and the nursing home called me to let me know I of course am the one that has been assigned that duty. YUK! Being my mother mother is not new to our relationship but I don't really want this job. BUT I am the only one so .....I hate this disease it is just plain HORRID!

At P/T the other day a lady was in the waiting room I looked at her and was in awe at home together she was physically and mentally and she was 5 years older than my mother. I thought that is how it would be with Beverly but then again I figured Daddy would be here still too! Never know what will happen that is for sure!

more mail more bills more frustration

This is short and sweet. I HATE ALZHEIMER'S!!!!! There are moments seconds when it is okay but overall this disease sucks!!!!! That's all I have to say....well that's not really true but my gift for this weekend is NOT to obsess about this part of my life!

a good visit

Well yesterday Rachel and I decided to go to the nursing home. I prayed a lot, since I never know how I will be greeted. When we got out of the elevator I looked right at my mother and did not recognize her. Rachel had to point to her. Why? It has been 2 months but I swear she has aged 10 years. The visit was fine she cried and held my hand, we had a few "loop" conversations but all in all it was nice.
Rachel's wedding is less than 6 weeks away, as it gets closer we will pray that Mom can stay calm and attend. Rachel really wants her t here now and so do I.
My heart is not as heavy but this is still HOrrid!