Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas MOM, I love you!

Friday, December 23, 2011

MErry Christmas

It seems after speaking with all the kids the choice is to send some lovely flowers. As I have said several times of everyone Heather is having the most difficult time with my mother's disease. Perhaps if she had not buried 3 grandfathers and the one really awesome Grandma in the last 2 years along with her favorite Uncle my mother's attitude would not be so difficult. BUT IT IS! I am so tired of going in circles.... Lord help me!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I've been thinking

I have mentioned on more than one occasion my mother's disease has taken it's toll on each member of the family. I recently called the nursing home to see how Mom is doing without our visits. The answer to that is she is just fine at least on the surface. Deep down who knows, that part of her mind does not seem to be working any more.
A good friend of mine, had a great marriage, she just celebrated her 45th wedding anniversary alone .
We had an interesting conversation in the hall at Church last Sunday.
In 1998 her sweet husband began to "Slip" away. It took a while for the doctors to say Luke was suffering with dementia. He was home with Deb until 2 years ago. Now this once gentle, kind, spiritually sound man has no clue who she is or any of the the rest of his family! He has become violent and is in a lock down unit in Texas. He can never come home.
We held each other and cried as we talked about what we both thought was "supposed" to happen with her husband and my mother. The bottom line is to make peace and let go of all the "suppose to's."
Christmas is 10 days away I have had conversations with each of the kids about their Grandma. They are all sad at the loss of their Grandparents. I have prayed over and over again.There is a plan, it is no longer based on what was"supposed to be" but what is the reality.
Christmas is about the Birth of our Lord. I am praying that as long as we can focus on Him that the hurt and sadness about where my Mother is will be not so overwhelming. I have to believe that when she leaves this world and joins Daddy we will all be at peace. That when it is my time to go I will see my Lord and my parents and be at peace again.