Hello, It has been several months since I have
written, not because I haven't had things to say but looking for the peace of mind and soul to close this chapter of my life.
The day last August that
we held the graveside service for both my Daddy and Mom was sunny and many
family and friends showed up. All was well until I discovered the engraving on
the "monument" had not been done. I flipped out and thanks to my
sweet husband and others I calmed down so that Pastor Rick could begin.
Heather sang, Rachel and Joe walked
down memory lane and then I spoke. I do not have a clue as to what I said. I
just know I cried.
Our family has held this plot since the mid 1800's.
My grandmother, Thelma Dixon, was placed here in 1989. I didn't have the money
then for her name to be added, I had all 3 names added at the same time.
I did find out after the fact the when cremation is the form of burial usually
the lettering is done later.
The day was rough and I felt so empty suddenly I went form having one living
parent to being an orphan. And since 90% of my memories regarding my mother
were so horrible I spent hours and hours crying.
One day after crying and praying all night
long and finally falling asleep I woke and I had this impression. Deep in
the back of my mind was Johnny Depp as Captain Jack sitting on top of a huge
chest with chains and locks keeping the contents from ever escaping. Then
without any effort memories sweet gentle memories flooded my mind. Events,
holidays , bbq's, parties, dancing around the living room with my Mom. At last
there was PEACE!
I will always believe my God gave me
this gift. With that peace came joy and a renewed love for my Mother!
Mom's birthday was April 22nd that was a rough day. I
had not been back to the cemetery since the stone was craved. I ordered 6
yellow roses from our local florist and on our way to Church on Mother's day I
picked them up.
It is not a long drive. We again located
our "BRIGG'S" family plot. Getting out of the car was rough I was
shaking Brad and Heather grabbed each arm. As I touched the monument I
could almost feel my parents hugging me!
My Mom could not grow houseplants
to save her soul she tried every kind of violet and next to yellow roses they
were her favorite flower. I was so amazed to see the wild violets in bloom all
around the monolith we laid the yellow roses down. I am sure it made her smile.
The memories are still coming new ones every once in
awhile. Our middle son and his wife just brought home their first son. As I
held Gavin, I cried mixed tears. Joy that we have this new little guy and sadness because my parents will not be able hold him.
Alzheimer's is Horrid! It cheated Mom and I out
of her last years. I was so bitter at the horridness of the disease. I am still
unhappy for the lost times. The difference is I am at last at peace with Mommy,
I love her and miss her.
My faith allows me to know I will see her, Daddy
and the rest of our family. Because; thanks to Jesus and His
Resurrection, I am saved. Praise God!
May all of you who have shared this blog
find comfort and peace.
God Bless each of you! Jewels