Saturday, July 28, 2012

Does She remember????

    This time 3 years ago I was flying to Az. I had spoken to Daddy at the usual 5 am NY time we spoke for about 15 minutes. He told me he loved me and that he was tired.  Just before we said our goodbyes he once again asked me to promise to take care of Mom when he was gone. 19 hours later my mother called screaming into the phone that Daddy was dead. I had reservation to fly out August 17th. I called Southwest told them what happened and they changed my ticket immediately. I was at the airport  and on my way less than 2 hours after Mom called.
     This morning is the 3 year anniversary of my Daddy's passing. I sat at this computer and cried. Why him, why, my best friend, why the most honorable man in the world why, why, why???
       Then I wondered will Mom know what today is; will she review her life with this wonderful man who took such good care of us? And after I left home devoted himself 150 % to this woman who  Daddy loved her even though she was such high maintenance?
         I know the answer.  She no longer knows what day, what week  or what year. She doesn't remember me. So does she remember the "love of her life?" Most likely not... just another reason to hate Alzheimer's.
         But Daddy I remember you and I will honor those memories always. And even though I haven't seen Mom in a long time I am taking care of her and it hurts my heart to know she will never know that even after all the bad times; I do love her. After all I had you as an example. You came into our lives when I was 9 and showed me from the start that love has nothing to do with genes but with your heart. Thank you Daddy, I will always love you!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Hmmm another holiday...

This day in 1968 I married David. We had a big Catholic wedding with 5 bridesmaids, ring barer, flower girl, matron of honor best man and 350 guests. The marriage produced 3 wonderful children all grown all with their own lives. The marriage to David lasted 30 years. Rachel and I were on our own for 5 years , she was 15 when we split up.
 Then I married the love of my life Brad and adopted his daughter Heather who was barely 2. David is happy with his present wife and after years of not speaking I actually invited him and his wife to our daughter Rachel's 30 birthday party I am having on the 28th of this month.
WHAT does this have to do with Alzheimer's. It is a day that reminds me of how much I miss the good times. The family bar-b-ques, all the Holidays,  birthday parties,  plays and baseball games the kids were in, my parents came when they could.
Heather is in the summer production of "the Wiz" she is a Winkie and a Poppy.  Certainly not staring rolls but she is excited Daddy and MOm would have loved to see her onstatge. Rachel and her older brother Joe are racing with the their Dad in the "firecracker run" here in Saratoga NY. Then there is the family bbq and after a trip to see "Brave"in 3D.
There was a time when my parents would have moved mountains to attend all these events.
Yes, Mom and I had lots of issues; but the family gatherings; that is is where there was love and laughs and I miss those time.
I watched the last part of "THE NOTEBOOK" last night, I so wish that was our ending.
I hope and pray for all of us who live in the world  with someone we love who has Alzheimer's that today for awhile we can hold on to the good times and the happy memories.  Just maybe for a short time forget that Alzheimer's is Horrid.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

not much to say...

But...2 more of our friends have buried a parent in the last week. The sad part of being 60 something is that the parents of our piers are all in the late  80's and they die.  Even though it was "just" 2 deaths I purchased another 3 Sympathy cards because it seems that almost every other week or so someone passes. As for my Mom she is still "hanging in there."