Saturday, February 16, 2013

Valentine's Day

         Life as we all know is never ever simple nor easy. Between getting ready for my full knee replacement and Brad still out on disability, so on and so on I had not gotten my mother's Medicaid re-cert done. I spoke with her medicaid case worker and she told she was so far behind that I had plenty of time to get it done.
         Knowing I was going to be at the nursing home on Valentine's Day I called and spoke with  the accounts receivable person,  Rose. I told her my dilemma and she said she would be glad to help .
        After Bible study Valentine's Eve Heather, her friend, Maddy and I stopped at the store and picked up goodies for Mom. Nothing exciting; lots of chocolate, a coke, pretty pink nail polish etc.  One more stop and the girls ran in to the store and got the last yellow roses.
       I had 2 pictures left of Rachel and Heather from Christmas.  I placed them in a small card and just wrote "Grandma" on the envelope.
         The morning got here and after a yummy Valentine's day breakfast I dropped Heather off to school. Made a quick stop at Dunkin' Donuts for goodies for the staff and I headed for the nursing home.  The really sweet receptionist paged Mom's case manager, Annika,  I handed her the bags of goodies and went to see Rose.   She made short work of the Medicaid paperwork.
        As I was walking out two of Mom's aides asked if I was going to see her. I fought back the tears and said no.
         I cried all the way home and once again wondered why Mom, Kris's Dad , Deb L's husband are all still here. I cried off and on all day and begged God to make sense of this whole thing.
        Around 5 that night I received a phone call from Annika. She wanted me to know that Mom's  aide had given her the bag of goodies and handed her the flowers. I had found a pretty vase at arranged the small bouquet , added a pretty yellow ribbon then taped the card to the vase.
 Annika said she watched Mom as she received the flowers. She was the only one on the floor that had received ANY Valentine's presents.
       Then Annika added, "Jewels, I watched as she opened the card. Your Mom looked at the two pictures and smiled."   Mom said to everyone, " Aren't they pretty! My young one is a real princess." Annika said for a brief second or two Mom was back.  It only lasted a few moments.
          I hung up and sobbed as I am now. BUT these are different tears. I finally feel at peace. Why?  Now I know that deep inside there is a flicker of us in her heart. I will continue to bring her yellow roses and goodies she may or may not have the same response that's okay.
         Somewhere deep inside she felt our love and what better day, than the day that is dedicated to love.
          Thank you , Lord.
          God Bless you all in Blogland.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A Movie

Brad, Heather and I  just watched the 1967 version of Camelot on TCM. My mother took me to see it on the "big" screen on Newport Blvd. in Costa Mesa when I was 17. That was a sweet memory. Will it being easier when she is with Daddy and Our LORD? Because this Alzheimer's is HORRID!!

Friday, February 1, 2013

I attended

Oh sigh the review is never any emotions are not any different and my Mother's health continues to waste away.
I would love to say something profound here. YOU all know what I happened I walked in everyone said,  "Hi." Then each caretaker gave there report and when each one finished I cried a little more.
I brought up what the procedure is when my mother passes. The was rough. They all thanked me for being such a good daughter. I chocked up and left glad to be done with this for another year.
Now today I do the re-certification paperwork. Pay her monthly bills then get on with my life.
I wish I could sound more upbeat for you but this is the legasy theat Alzheimer's leaves all of us who have chosen to place our loved ones in a Nursing home. For those of you you maintain your family member in your own home I have much respect for each of you! I only lasted 6 months with Mom home.
May your day be calm and peaceful. God Bless.