Daddy was retired military. His SS was a breeze to transfer to Mom his Navy pension and his job retirement took awhile. In time they both started arriving and was more or less just a small headache.
BUT this silly monthly $90 widow's pension took almost 3 years and was a real pain in the butt. NOW for the last 5 months each check comes with an insert to change from "snail mail" to direct deposit or else!
Being a responsible person I immediately in Jan. 2013 went to the website only to be "told" there was a problem . I had to contact another #. Which of course I did and after pushing all the right numbers was at last told there was a large volume of calls and my call would be answered in 45 minutes or more. Who has that kind of time to be on hold?!
I hung up and over the last 5 months have called many random times. Yesterday I hit pay dirt and got a charming woman. right away! HOWEVER after 5 questions was told , " I'm so sorry Mrs. R you need to call....."
It was already 5 pm EST.
I called the new number today at 3 and to my amazement was only on hold for 12 minutes. A gentleman named Michael answered and was pleasant. After 4 questions he informed me because I am Mom's fiduciary agent I needed to download form SF1199A. I needed to fill my part out then have the bank do their part then fax it to PA.
The form is not bad I had to print out 4 copies (VA copy, bank copy and my copy) plus directions.
My complaint since everything is by computer would it have been so difficult for the computer to give me the proper insert 5 months ago with who and where ?
Anyway , tomorrow I'll get the bank to do their part and I'll fax the VA copy with a cover letter giving Daddy and Mom's personal information. Hopefully this will solve this problem.
This is just a reminder to get our houses in order so we don't leave this kind of mess for our kids.
God Bless, Jewels
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
The Visit
The Charge nurse suggested we wait for Mom in the dining room while they got her ready. I was once again told each day is different so she may or may not be belligerent. My friend and I waited for 30 minutes before Mom was ready to visit.
She was pushed into the dining room . To be honest I would not have recognized her, at first. She looked almost like a cartoon witch. Her eyes deep set, her hair to her waist, white as snow most of her teeth missing. Her hands were so brusied. Her body sloughed into the wheel chair.
The flowers I brought were Spring colors she seemed to like them. Heather had made an oragami bird to sit in the flowers. Mom seemed unsure who Heather was. I gave her information about all her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Her looks were blank.
I had used my cane because the parking lot is pretty uneven, plus the walk to her room was fairly long. She asked why I was usuing a cane. I pulled up my pant leg and showed her my scare then explained my full knee replacement. For a few minutes she was the OR NURSE again asked the "right" questions. Then she faded.
An aide pushed her back to her room at the end of the visit so we could place her flowers in the room.
Her new location is so tiny mostly because it is packed with stuffed animals and blankets she has crocheted.The pictures I have sent and framed were in her room too.
I bent down and kissed her told I loved her and left.
What more is there to say. There was little if any conversation; it was me giving information to a woman I believe once was part of my family. But this lady was not her, she has her name but her soul that made her Mom was nowhere to be felt.
I am numb. I doubt think I'll go back, my Mom is gone.
She was pushed into the dining room . To be honest I would not have recognized her, at first. She looked almost like a cartoon witch. Her eyes deep set, her hair to her waist, white as snow most of her teeth missing. Her hands were so brusied. Her body sloughed into the wheel chair.
The flowers I brought were Spring colors she seemed to like them. Heather had made an oragami bird to sit in the flowers. Mom seemed unsure who Heather was. I gave her information about all her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Her looks were blank.
I had used my cane because the parking lot is pretty uneven, plus the walk to her room was fairly long. She asked why I was usuing a cane. I pulled up my pant leg and showed her my scare then explained my full knee replacement. For a few minutes she was the OR NURSE again asked the "right" questions. Then she faded.
An aide pushed her back to her room at the end of the visit so we could place her flowers in the room.
Her new location is so tiny mostly because it is packed with stuffed animals and blankets she has crocheted.The pictures I have sent and framed were in her room too.
I bent down and kissed her told I loved her and left.
What more is there to say. There was little if any conversation; it was me giving information to a woman I believe once was part of my family. But this lady was not her, she has her name but her soul that made her Mom was nowhere to be felt.
I am numb. I doubt think I'll go back, my Mom is gone.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
New location
I finally worked up the courage to call the nursing home. I spoke to the Charge nurse in her new secured location. I was told she is belligerent frequently. That was not a surprise.
I have asked my friend who just lost her husband to come with me. Her late husband was violent toward the end too.
Tuesday at 9:30 am we will be visiting my Mother. I have no high hopes or expectations. I am simply bringing her some birthday presents and saying goodbye. I've told my kids but no one wants to risk what could happen and I understand.
Please say a few prayers and send happy thoughts. I'll let you know what happens. Thanks for reading about this journey.
God Bless you all.
I have asked my friend who just lost her husband to come with me. Her late husband was violent toward the end too.
Tuesday at 9:30 am we will be visiting my Mother. I have no high hopes or expectations. I am simply bringing her some birthday presents and saying goodbye. I've told my kids but no one wants to risk what could happen and I understand.
Please say a few prayers and send happy thoughts. I'll let you know what happens. Thanks for reading about this journey.
God Bless you all.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Sucker punched
Late February I received a phone call from the nursing home. IT seems my mother was very agitated at being "lifted" into the wheel chair so she "cold cocked" the aide blacked her eye and sent her glasses off to hit the wall.
The call was to inform me that her doctor's, nursing staff as well as social worker held a "stat" meeting . IT was decided that this event was the "straw that broke the camels' back." Mom had to be moved into a more secured environment. The aides packed up her stuff and she was relocated to another wing of the home.
To be honest I don't know if she will still be able to talk to the other ladies who were also nurses in the "hay days" but I don't think they will be on the same unit. IF my mother was to hit another patient there could be a law suit.
Most likely she is .....hmmm I don't know .....
I think I'll call on Monday and find out if she is isolated or still....
It just hurts to know this has happened....her mother did something similar instead of hitting someone Grandma threw feces at my Dad and smeared herself and the walls....
This disease brakes my heart at what has become of my mother.
Alzheimer's is Horrid!!!!
The call was to inform me that her doctor's, nursing staff as well as social worker held a "stat" meeting . IT was decided that this event was the "straw that broke the camels' back." Mom had to be moved into a more secured environment. The aides packed up her stuff and she was relocated to another wing of the home.
To be honest I don't know if she will still be able to talk to the other ladies who were also nurses in the "hay days" but I don't think they will be on the same unit. IF my mother was to hit another patient there could be a law suit.
Most likely she is .....hmmm I don't know .....
I think I'll call on Monday and find out if she is isolated or still....
It just hurts to know this has happened....her mother did something similar instead of hitting someone Grandma threw feces at my Dad and smeared herself and the walls....
This disease brakes my heart at what has become of my mother.
Alzheimer's is Horrid!!!!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Valentine's Day
Life as we all know is never ever simple nor easy. Between getting ready for my full knee replacement and Brad still out on disability, so on and so on I had not gotten my mother's Medicaid re-cert done. I spoke with her medicaid case worker and she told she was so far behind that I had plenty of time to get it done.
Knowing I was going to be at the nursing home on Valentine's Day I called and spoke with the accounts receivable person, Rose. I told her my dilemma and she said she would be glad to help .
After Bible study Valentine's Eve Heather, her friend, Maddy and I stopped at the store and picked up goodies for Mom. Nothing exciting; lots of chocolate, a coke, pretty pink nail polish etc. One more stop and the girls ran in to the store and got the last yellow roses.
I had 2 pictures left of Rachel and Heather from Christmas. I placed them in a small card and just wrote "Grandma" on the envelope.
The morning got here and after a yummy Valentine's day breakfast I dropped Heather off to school. Made a quick stop at Dunkin' Donuts for goodies for the staff and I headed for the nursing home. The really sweet receptionist paged Mom's case manager, Annika, I handed her the bags of goodies and went to see Rose. She made short work of the Medicaid paperwork.
As I was walking out two of Mom's aides asked if I was going to see her. I fought back the tears and said no.
I cried all the way home and once again wondered why Mom, Kris's Dad , Deb L's husband are all still here. I cried off and on all day and begged God to make sense of this whole thing.
Around 5 that night I received a phone call from Annika. She wanted me to know that Mom's aide had given her the bag of goodies and handed her the flowers. I had found a pretty vase at arranged the small bouquet , added a pretty yellow ribbon then taped the card to the vase.
Annika said she watched Mom as she received the flowers. She was the only one on the floor that had received ANY Valentine's presents.
Then Annika added, "Jewels, I watched as she opened the card. Your Mom looked at the two pictures and smiled." Mom said to everyone, " Aren't they pretty! My young one is a real princess." Annika said for a brief second or two Mom was back. It only lasted a few moments.
I hung up and sobbed as I am now. BUT these are different tears. I finally feel at peace. Why? Now I know that deep inside there is a flicker of us in her heart. I will continue to bring her yellow roses and goodies she may or may not have the same response that's okay.
Somewhere deep inside she felt our love and what better day, than the day that is dedicated to love.
Thank you , Lord.
God Bless you all in Blogland.
Knowing I was going to be at the nursing home on Valentine's Day I called and spoke with the accounts receivable person, Rose. I told her my dilemma and she said she would be glad to help .
After Bible study Valentine's Eve Heather, her friend, Maddy and I stopped at the store and picked up goodies for Mom. Nothing exciting; lots of chocolate, a coke, pretty pink nail polish etc. One more stop and the girls ran in to the store and got the last yellow roses.
I had 2 pictures left of Rachel and Heather from Christmas. I placed them in a small card and just wrote "Grandma" on the envelope.
The morning got here and after a yummy Valentine's day breakfast I dropped Heather off to school. Made a quick stop at Dunkin' Donuts for goodies for the staff and I headed for the nursing home. The really sweet receptionist paged Mom's case manager, Annika, I handed her the bags of goodies and went to see Rose. She made short work of the Medicaid paperwork.
As I was walking out two of Mom's aides asked if I was going to see her. I fought back the tears and said no.
I cried all the way home and once again wondered why Mom, Kris's Dad , Deb L's husband are all still here. I cried off and on all day and begged God to make sense of this whole thing.
Around 5 that night I received a phone call from Annika. She wanted me to know that Mom's aide had given her the bag of goodies and handed her the flowers. I had found a pretty vase at arranged the small bouquet , added a pretty yellow ribbon then taped the card to the vase.
Annika said she watched Mom as she received the flowers. She was the only one on the floor that had received ANY Valentine's presents.
Then Annika added, "Jewels, I watched as she opened the card. Your Mom looked at the two pictures and smiled." Mom said to everyone, " Aren't they pretty! My young one is a real princess." Annika said for a brief second or two Mom was back. It only lasted a few moments.
I hung up and sobbed as I am now. BUT these are different tears. I finally feel at peace. Why? Now I know that deep inside there is a flicker of us in her heart. I will continue to bring her yellow roses and goodies she may or may not have the same response that's okay.
Somewhere deep inside she felt our love and what better day, than the day that is dedicated to love.
Thank you , Lord.
God Bless you all in Blogland.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
A Movie
Brad, Heather and I just watched the 1967 version of Camelot on
TCM. My mother took me to see it on the "big" screen on Newport Blvd.
in Costa Mesa when I was 17. That was a sweet memory. Will it being
easier when she is with Daddy and Our LORD? Because this Alzheimer's is
HORRID!!
Friday, February 1, 2013
I attended
Oh sigh the review is never any different....my emotions are not any different and my Mother's health continues to waste away.
I would love to say something profound here. YOU all know what I happened I walked in everyone said, "Hi." Then each caretaker gave there report and when each one finished I cried a little more.
I brought up what the procedure is when my mother passes. The was rough. They all thanked me for being such a good daughter. I chocked up and left glad to be done with this for another year.
Now today I do the re-certification paperwork. Pay her monthly bills then get on with my life.
I wish I could sound more upbeat for you but this is the legasy theat Alzheimer's leaves all of us who have chosen to place our loved ones in a Nursing home. For those of you you maintain your family member in your own home I have much respect for each of you! I only lasted 6 months with Mom home.
May your day be calm and peaceful. God Bless.
I would love to say something profound here. YOU all know what I happened I walked in everyone said, "Hi." Then each caretaker gave there report and when each one finished I cried a little more.
I brought up what the procedure is when my mother passes. The was rough. They all thanked me for being such a good daughter. I chocked up and left glad to be done with this for another year.
Now today I do the re-certification paperwork. Pay her monthly bills then get on with my life.
I wish I could sound more upbeat for you but this is the legasy theat Alzheimer's leaves all of us who have chosen to place our loved ones in a Nursing home. For those of you you maintain your family member in your own home I have much respect for each of you! I only lasted 6 months with Mom home.
May your day be calm and peaceful. God Bless.
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