Tuesday, June 15, 2010

i don't want tooooooo

There seems to be several sides to how to behave with or to one's parent who has Alzheimer's. There are many who are able and do an amazing job of keeping their loved one with them to the end, others like myself who only last months before a nursing home comes into the picture and then there are those who from the first moment find some where else to keep the person they have called Mom, Dad or ???.
Even when your parent is in a nursing home. There are visits or calls from your children who once again saying, "Why did you put Grandma there?" Good friends who say,"She really doesn't seem that bad!"
How do you explain that even though you know in your mind the hateful words the blank stares the confusing conversation that my son Joe refers to as the"Loop" are exhausting. They are not really that person who raised you. Let's not forget the paperwork that seems endless when you are the POA of our loved one.
I am a Christian and I know in my heart the Lord understands how I handle this horrid disease. I do have so much repecct for you out there in blogland who seem to have seem to come to a quiet peace. Perhaps when more time goes by it has after all not been year since Daddy died and I found out the truth out about my Mother and her horrid disease.
I want to go back in time when Daddy was taking care of Mom in AZ and I would come out to visit and all was simple. I don't want tooooo have a Mother with Alzheimer's I want her whole again.. BUT she is gone and my family is left with a woman who is daily slipping away into her own world.


  1. Hi, my name is Kristen and I also have a blog about my Dad who has Alzheimer's. Thank you for your blog.
    Regarding this entry, I found that I had the opposite experience as you because people kept saying "He needs to be in a home." I knew he needed help, but I also think I was in denial about how bad he was....
    It's always interesting to see how different everyone's situation is...

  2. Hi Kristen, I t has been a little over a year since Daddy passed on and my mother became my responsibility.The thing I have noticed is EVERYONE has an opinion and few are based on their own experience. Those of us who are on this path see this horrid disease very differently than those who know someone who has someone or who has read something or seen "The Notebook." For me the support from the Lord is what has seen me through not always easy mind you and at times very very rough on my marriage. Placing Mom in the nursing home broke my heart and even now 8 months later I still have occasional attacks of guilt. Hang in there, we here in Blogland understand.