Saturday, January 21, 2012


This picture was taken September of 2009. That is me (as a blond) behind Mommy and Heather. There were moments before the disease ate her brain up and we had Norman Rockwell moments.It didn't last long.
I suppose the part of being an optimist is just that no matter how bad/sad or mad I am about the whole Alzheimer's thing, deep inside I still have hope.
I was enjoying some quiet time reading Friday afternoon, the phone rang, caller ID is a wonderful thing. IT was the nursing home. I have 2 ways of feeling panic or hopeful. For a moment I thought just maybe she is having a great day and they want me to rush down and see her!
But alas; it was her case working giving me a shopping list of what my mother needs: 2 pairs of slippers no elastic size 8 1/2, 2 new nightgowns, some slacks and tops, new undies. My mother has always been a size 8-10 always weighed between 124-132 lbs. Now she is 168 lbs. Her once beautiful smile is missing most of her teeth; she refuses to see a dentist. And really at 87 with this disease being so advanced would she or does she even remember how to take care of her teeth.
Today is one of those days. I miss the dream, I miss the "Supposed to b's, " I miss my Mommy and Daddy, I miss the calls, the emails I miss my parents. I really really hate ALZHEIMER"S!
Do you think the tears ever stop??? Do you think your heart ever heals? Please, Lord God make my heart and soul quiet. It is the only prayer that ever helps.

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