Sunday, April 17, 2011

Palm Sunday

My Mother worked 2 jobs, she was off Wednesday and Sunday. On Sundays she would drop me off at Mass then go grocery shopping and pick me up after wards. EXCEPT Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, Easter and Christmas that is when we would go together. Those were the times we would get all dressed up she would wear a cool hat that matched her bag and shoes and I would wear a white mantilla and the Sunday best dress. After we went to Mass we would go out to breakfast other times we would come home and have brunch.
As we left Daddy would always say,"Ladies you look lovely, say Hi to God for me." Daddy wasn't Catholic so he enjoyed the quiet, sitting in his recliner drinking coffee, smoking, reading the Sunday paper and looking at the TV watching "Face the Nation and Meet the Press."
When I moved Mom into the nursing home I brought her Crucifix which she had forever and a dried up palm branch....
I just called the home. I spoke to Cindy the charge nurse to suggest that perhaps Mom would like to go to Mass. Then I asked her if Mother had enjoyed the letter I had written which was a very nice nuetral newsletter mostly about the grandkids. Cindy told me Mom wanted her to return the letter to me. She wants nothing to do with me.
You would think after all the pain the angry words between us these past 2 years it would be a great feeling of relief. She has told the staff she no longer wants to see me or hear from me. That hurts so much!!!
I received a call from the nursing home the other day with a list of items Mom needs again. I'll take care of it because as we all know that's what we do, we are good sons and daughters even when our parents say they hate us. God, I hate ALZHEIMER'S!


  1. I hate Alzhimer's too. I am so sorry. You are such a good person and daughter. Never think differant. Good luck and God Bless.

  2. Karen, thanks for the support and kind words.There are many days when I believe that totally. Then there are moments when I see others out and about with the aged parents laughing, shopping, loving on each other and I wonder. What did I do to deserve this angry woman who hates me? It is only a flash because my brain knows the disease has destroyed what little goodness was in her. IT is my heart that breaks.I wonder if there is relief when our parents pass or are we left the guilt that we could not reach them?
    In the midst of the stress of this part of my life I have now developed shingles. It flares up a lot when I have to deal with Mom and her rage towards me. So now not only does my soul cry out in pain by body now has a very painful reaction to her....Not trying to sound dramatic just saying I wish I didn't care and could be cold toward my Mother.