Sunday, April 3, 2011

Some quiet time

Brad and Heather are enjoying the 55 degrees here in upstate NY. they went bike riding.
I am having an off day nothing to do with Alzheimer's really but then again everything to do with the loss of comminication with my mother because of this horrid disease...most of thetime I would call AZ. and Mom would answer we would speak briiefly and then she would hand the phone to Daddy We would talk for a long time then folow up with an email. emails wee a daily thing then a few days later I would call and the loop would continue.Boy do I miss those phone calls.
This past week there have been the usual family crisis nothing big just life stuff. There is no Mom and Dad to talk to anymore the older i got the more I appreciated their wisdom.
Mom will turn 86 on Good Friday this year. Once in a great while her birthday falls on Easter or Easter falls on her birthday whichever it doesn't matter now. I just checked in 1962,1973,1984 and then again in 2052. There is a picture of the kids and I with her on Easter Sunday her birthday in 1984, I have to dig it out of the trunk.
Her years of wisdom are locked away now, her memory is shrinking and sadly I am not a part of her world. Funny when we fought and disagreed I would think how great it would be if she would just disappear and leave me with Daddy.
I was wrong! As abusive and bad as it was at least she was mentally here. There is no Daddy now and I would give anything for even one argument so we could make up and go shopping or watch an old movie.The farther Mom goes away inside herself the more I would give for just one of those fights and then the time pleasant moments that followed.

1 comment:

  1. my son was born on Easter Sunday 21 yrs ago this Fri. Easter is my fav. day. I love easter service. I Don't get to go much now. Mom has not been able to go to church in yrs. But we do watch it on tv. I never thought of it before now but I miss fighting with mom too. And than going out to eat or to the movies.
    Thanks for a memory.