Wednesday, May 4, 2011

flowers

Tell me what is worse, the death of a beloved parent,the living parent who never says anything positive to you or the mother who has Alzheimer's and "hates" you?
A Spring bouquet of yellow flowers with several yellow rose will arrive for my Mother for Mother's Day Friday. The card just says, "You are Loved." I don't dare sign the card.
I hate this! I am sorry to complain it just hurts so much. I realized today that I really am not angry any more I am not waiting for an apology that will never come. The really bad times are packed away in box buried in the depths of my mind and soul. I do love her and I want her back, I want the good times. I want the kids to have fun with their grandma. I want to take her shopping and out to lunch.
It's NOT FAIR! I want her back WHOLE! ALZHEIMER'S IS BEYOND HORRID!

2 comments:

  1. So nice of you to send your mom floweres . We did nothing for mom for moms day. I do fix her a cake for her birthdays. But that is because she can eat that and we all help. She does not know the diffeance in one day to the next.
    I believe this stage of your mom's disease will pass. You might keep checking to see . Mom went throw a crazy,mean,beat me up and try to kill me phase. So one day when you go see your she will be a differant person. I bet ya. Praying.

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  2. Karen, I have been praying and thinking about visiting and have decided sometime in the next few weeks I will do so. But as you know how she is will behave is any one's guess. Take care of yourself, God Bless, Jewels

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