Wednesday, November 10, 2010

hmmm for some reason....

It is very odd how this disease affects me. Even though the last visit with Mom was okay and actually sweet I somehow dread going again. I suppose it is because I have no clue what will happen.
When she and Daddy were in AZ. I begged them to come here for years. they choose not to. Now she is 15 miles away he is with our Lord and I dread yes DREAD having her involved.
We are having a Church Thanksgiving dinner Saturday. She went with us last year and had a good time. I have her ticket but I am afraid. Nervous, sad and generally over whelmed at the holidays being here already.
My new son-in-law's mother passed away right before the wedding to my Rachel. He would give anything to have her back for the Holidays. I wish ....anyway this is not an easy time. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster.I really don't wish her to pass to the other side BUT I have to admit for the rest of the time Mom is here it will only get more difficult. Or maybe I am just having a bad day...

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