I will sound whinny because I am. I do not want to deal with my mother this Christmas! I don't want to visit the nursing home no matter how nice it is. I don't want to deal with her in anyway. I want to just pretend she is in AZ with my Daddy and I will send them their usual presents and they will send me money to buy their grandchildren and great grandchildren presents that way they don't have to pay postage. I want it to be like it was Dec of 2008. I miss my Daddy and I don't like this woman in the nursing home. I am tired of feeling guilty for not being a devoted daughter.
I HATE ALZHEIMER"S AND I HATE THAT DADDY IS GONE!
Some times you just have to wallow in your misery for a bit, and have a good cry. will your Mom know you're there? At this point you have to take care of yourself. Do the best you can and have no guilt about it. If you can't do it for the holidays, then don't. You have to rejuvenate yourself and your energy.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for not judging. My sons are sure to leave their Grandma in a nursing home on Christmas is terrible. Since Mom's behavior is so different around the girls neither Heather or Rachel want to see her Christmas day. This is one of those things I am giving to God and trying really hard not to take it back.
ReplyDelete